Difficulties of being a Catholic woman

To my dear Catholic women:

Are you a faithful, precept-abiding, prayerful, Mass-attending papist like myself?

Are you in love with Christ? Are you aware that you may not be as in love with Christ as you ought to be, and thus work harder at your relationship with Christ through prayer and works of charity?

Do you believe the Catholic Church provides her people with the means of attaining sanctity and salvation?

I sure as Helen do.

However...

Do you also feel a little 'sting' at the back of your mind when you see only men or boys allowed to be altar servers, whereas girl servers are merely 'tolerated'?
Does this sting happen when vocations to the priestly life are celebrated, whereas vocations of women to the religious life are over-looked and viewed to be of little importance? (Mind you, we need priests, as we need the Sacraments in our Church. I am not down-playing the importance of priests. More on this later...)

As a woman, do you feel overwhelmed while looking into Church history, only to discover long lists of 'women should never..." "women should be discouraged from..." and "women ought not to..." 's?

Do the rules of the Catholic Church seem like a one-way street? Men get to do as they please, yet women are being bullied to look a certain way, dress a certain way, act a certain way, and just keep their mouths shut?

Are you sick of  hearing about how women are the cause of sin entering the world?

Does the Church feel more like "The Man's house" as opposed to the House of God?

Do you feel outdone by the genius works of men? Artwork? Music? Architecture? Impressive books on Theological and Philosophical thought?

Do you sometimes feel that your only vocation in the Church as a woman is to make sure there are flowers in front of the statues, and that you are to give birth to a million children and hopefully one of them will grow up to be a priest?

I sure as Helen think these things as well. If you are a faithful Catholic woman and you have NOT had any of these negative thoughts, not even for a moment, you are either extremely insane, or extremely balanced. Think about that for a moment.

I attend Mass and continue with my faith because Christ is calling me to Him. Yet, all around me, I am bombarded with messages that the masculine gifts are the only gifts that the Church needs, and that these are the only gifts the Church cherishes.

Take heart, my sisters. Satan hates women, and as he is so clever, he will take lies and form them into the most believable things.

This society is treacherous. Especially with all of this 'feminist' stuff going around. What better way to deter women from being members of the Catholic Church than by the slow, painful erosion of psychological torture?

Behold the lie:

"Look, women in the world get to be who they want, dress as they want, act as they please. Go into your Church, as you will see that women are objects meant to be controlled. You may not be who you want, you may not dress as you want, you may not act as you please. You may not have positions of authority as you can in the world. Your talents will not be utilized as they would be in the world. Why subject yourself to such servitude?"

What a burden on women! Here we have two worlds.... each world so dramatically different, yet each world promising to deliver total happiness to women.

I think the reason why women lose hope in the Church is because they are focusing on what they do not have. Let's face it: the role and accomplishments of men, especially in the Catholic Church, are visible to all. I mean, physically visible; you can see it. You see the man-Pope surrounded by his man-Cardinals, you see the priest in the Sanctuary, you see the art work and, well, hear the music of the man-genius. Women want in. They wish to be seen, too. We wish to be noticed. How human of us!

Ahh, women. Our vocation goes far deeper than what can be seen.

Recently, I was watching this YouTube clip of Alice von Hildebrand talking about the role and mission of women in the Church. She said one thing that hit me to the core. I can only paraphrase at the moment, but the idea went along these lines:

After the French revolution, women had more authority, but they lost their power of influence. Authority commands "go here! do this!" And influence changes the interior of the person.

Ladies, which role has more 'power'? The ability to tell people where to go and what to do, or the ability to change the very heart of one who commands?

"Women are the neck, and they turn the head." How true indeed.

Why else would Satan tempt Eve with the forbidden fruit? Numskulls would say, "Because as a woman, she is mentally weaker and easier to convince."

Consider this: Satan tempted Eve because, as a woman, she had the power of influence over Adam. Once you have overthrown the woman, you have overthrown the man. And that is how Satan is attacking our society TODAY. He confuses the woman, promises her power, liberation... tells her that she is the victim of man. Once woman has fallen, men will fall, too. I suppose this is what it means when we hear that women are the "devil's gateway". This is not because women are evil, but it is because it is through women that the devil wishes to destroy mankind.

Ladies, are you coming to grips with the importance of your femininity? Do you not know how much the salvation of mankind depends on the nurturing of your femininity?

Now, I know how difficult it is to be a woman in the Catholic church. The accomplishments of men are far more visible, but consider this: When the end of the world comes, all books, works of architecture, and musical manuscripts created by men (and by some women, too) will be destroyed. What lasts forever is the work we do on each other's souls. A woman is drawn to what is personal, whereas men are drawn more to what is impersonal. Women, the influence we have on the souls of others last to eternity. This is why we must love the Lord and obey the Lord. We must influence those around us to choose Christ. We may not be as public in the Church, but our conduct speaks loud and clear and has a lasting impression on the history of salvation.

Now, on to some men in the Church who had stupid ideas. You will hear St. Thomas say something about how women are a necessary accident of nature, and you will hear other things of the sort. (Although two brilliant seminary friends of mine have told me that the word 'accident' in this context is not the same as 'mistake'. I guess it is important to become familiar with the uses of their terminology!!) Sometimes you will get a priest who is mean to women and nice to men. You will get manly authoritative figures of the Church treat women like rubbish... who view women as walking moods, as opposed to rational creatures (yes men, women are rational creatures).

I'm telling you, these thoughts are not God's thoughts. These are the thoughts of men who are sinners like everyone else. They are speaking out of ignorance, or damage. Maybe a particular man's mother was a bitch. Maybe a girl he was in love with broke his heart. Maybe he was ugly and fat and women have rejected him all his life. Or, maybe he is just an arrogant man who was taught that women were inferior. Take heart! These are the thoughts of individual men, not of the Church at large. Pray for them, for they sure need it! Women are also guilty as mistreating men based on bad life experiences and misconceptions of masculinity.

I go to this thing every Thursday called Theology on Tap. I am surrounded by the brightest of young men who go on and on using large words, and arguing about who is right regarding this canon law, or whatever that definition means, etc. Most of the time, I remain in silent awe of their intelligence. I find that the discipline of theology pulls in far more men than women. I suppose glorifying God in this manner appeals more to the masculine mind than the feminine one, but of course, I don't mean to over-generalize.
God created the masculine mind for a purpose, I know it. I suppose the intellect influences the will. Maybe this is way God gave men abstract minds. (Edith Stein says that men have more abstract minds, whereas women have more concrete minds). In my opinion, over-analyzing one's faith holds the danger of over-complicating things, and faith turns into a set of ideas rather than a personal relationship with a personal and loving God. I also believe that any means of getting close to God can be in danger when pride and other sins grab hold. I love how men and women are different, and we need each other. I guess women need men to pull us out of our feelings, and men need women to drag their minds out of the clouds sometimes and to focus the more personal elements of life. I suppose I will write a blog post of this concept, too.

I wonder if the power of influence has anything to do with the fact that I am young and moderately good-looking. Will I lose the power of influence when I get really, really old? Nahh, I don't think so. I often wonder if the womanly power of seduction can be used as a legitimate means of influencing men. Probably not. I suppose womanly seduction ought to be used towards her spouse only.

Influence vs. Manipulation. Ahh yes! If a woman uses her seductive powers to get what she wants, that is manipulation. If a woman uses guilt, or foot-stomping to get what she wants, that is manipulation. If a woman loves the Lord and speaks with modesty and sincerity in order to be used as an instrument of God, that is influence.

You see, women? We are so darn good at influencing others that we can slip into manipulation without even knowing it. I guess this is something to look out for.

Regarding vocations: I do believe the priestly vocation is sought after and celebrated far more than the vocation of a woman to the religious life. I believe this has legitimate grounds. However, our ways are not God's ways. Could it be possible that hundreds of vocations to the priesthood could be lost if one young woman's call to the religious life had not been nurtured? Through a nun's maternal gifts, she could give birth, spiritually speaking, to many boys and men and INFLUENCE them to follow a vocation to the priesthood. God works in mysterious ways, and things unfold in ways that we cannot imagine.

I am convinced that more attention must be given to girls and young women, and that their vocational calling ought to be taken more seriously, and need far more nurturing than what it has been receiving. With our own hands we try to convince young men to join the priesthood. Yet, when we put the work in God's hands, well, He can do much more. More women in the religious life will yield plentiful fruit, believe me. Please give young women more support. I am discerning a call to the religious life and it has been nothing but lonely, and I feel very forgotten. I fear that I will lose any vocation at all. Pray for me!

So yes, women... consider the hidden power of your gifts. There are women out there who feel they are called to be 'priests' and want the Church to change Her ways so that women can be 'up there' with the boys. A woman ought to serve Christ as a woman, and not as a woman wishing to be a man. I believe the idea of women who wish to be priests comes from a sinful ambition, which has masked itself as a genuine desire to serve. Remember what I said? Satan can take a lie and turn it into something very believable. He's good at that. But the power and light of God is far greater. Turn to God.

Women, God loves you, the Church loves you, and your femininity has been created to nurture and protect the human race from the lies of Satan. We are called to influence and help form the hearts of those around us so that they may choose what is good. Dress modestly, for as women, we are the guardians of purity (but let men take responsibility for their own lustful inclinations... maybe I will write a post of this later). Love purely. Women are very aware of their humanity... use this natural humility as a way to be even more obedient to the Lord.