Why the Helen do I attend Mass?

This is an important question for every practising Catholic to answer. And for yours truly. Getting up every morning at or before 6am from Sunday to Saturday in order to attend daily Mass can take a toll on someone, especially when they are a full-time student.
I don't want to get out of bed. I love my bed, I love my pillow, I love my computer, I love my lizard (yes I own a pet lizard), I love my piano, I love my solitude, I love to sleep in and I love to take my time to get ready to go out. As you can see, I have a lot of love to give. Why do I bother myself with so much Mass? Why can't I just go once a week? Or less? Why does going to Mass have to be a manifestation of my love and devotion to God? Why can't I just be nice to people and have the luxury of sleeping in while I'm at it?
Why do I NEED Church? Why can't I just be nice to people for my whole life. What does "Church' offer ME?
Hmm...
You know, I'm at the Cathedral so much, working and praying, that sometimes I get lost in a cloud of routine and I often lose sight as to why I desire to show up in the first place. I guess it's a lot like marriage. Once the honeymoon period is over and real life happens, the drudgery of life seeps in and then you begin to think, "Why did I do this in the first place?" Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of why we fell in love with that special someone in order to put the drudgery in perspective.
And so I ask myself: Why did I set foot inside a Catholic Church in the first place?
Did I feel like I needed Church? Well, no, actually. I did not enter the Church because I felt the institution could OFFER me something that I was missing in my life. I didn't hear about how religion 'works' for people and was hoping to have religion work for me as well. I didn't come to Church because I was a lonely teenager looking for companionship and friends.
So why did I come to Church?
I have to tell you, I was not the instigator, but it was God. I set foot inside the Church as a RESPONSE to something that had been placed in my heart long before I thought of attending Church. And that something was: "I AM here, open your eyes and you will find Me."
But there was something I needed from the Church, and that was education. I needed to learn about God, and I needed to learn how to pray to Him. The Church shared her knowledge, and out of my free will I accepted that knowledge.
There's more to being Catholic than to being a good person. One must learn to live a life that is RESPONSIVE to the will of God. It is most definitely a life of love. I wish I could explain it further but I'm a little too fried for such profound introspection at the moment.
So, I have concluded that I attend Church as a free act of will to respond to the calling of God.
It is nearing Easter, and my boss is working me like a pack mule. Cleaning, polishing, ironing...more cleaning, wax removal, etc. By the grace of God I have been able to fulfil all of my duties and to retain a sense of responsibility. Looking back, there is no way I could be able to sustain myself in this kind of work without the gift of faith, since it is faith that gives me sense of responsibility a purpose. Otherwise i would have just said "Screw it" and would find work elsewhere.
However, sometimes I get so wrapped up in the sense of responsibility that I forget why I began that work in the first place. Heck, sometimes I attend prayer and I don't even PRAY! Five mornings a week, morning prayer is offered. I show up, say the prayers with the group, sing loudly, sit through Mass, then leave. Routine, routine, routine. A part of me believes that what I have done is good, since I have fulfilled my responsibility to attend prayer. But as a Catholic, I have the responsibility to actually PRAY, and in that sense, I have failed that responsibility. My external responsibility has overshadowed my spiritual responsibility.
I have to confess, sometimes I show up just so people can see that I have actually shown up...and I don't always show up to pray. This is where I fail. The external routine adds to the sense of drudgery. Who knows where this comes from.... When other people are around my mind tends to rest on them rather than God. People make me nervous. I have social anxiety, by the way. Heck, who doesn't.
I'm going to make a daring analogy: showing up at Church without praying is a lot like using sex as a cornerstone in a marriage. One is only offering their body but not their entire self. No relationship can survive with the use of the body alone. There needs to be giving of SELF and communication, and compromise. I know that people whose relationships depend on the sex burn out quickly. It's the same as shoving my body in the Church without the engagement of my whole being. No wonder I feel so tired sometimes.
God, teach me to pray again.

Blech..!

Hi People,

Yours truly has been afflicted with a stomach flu from HELL, hence, my lack of recent posts . However, I do happen to have an opinion on something...
Fr. Guarnizo, the priest in Washington who refused the openly gay woman Communion, has been removed from his priestly post with his priestly faculties taken away, apparently...due to 'intimidating behaviour' towards parish staff. Perfect timing, eh? His refusal of Communion has already kicked up quite a fuss in the LGBT Community, and now they are pulling him out due to intimidating behaviour? Riiiight.
Anyway, an investigation is underway, and he will hopefully be returned to his post after the investigation has reached a conclusion...hopefully it will be in his favour.
This reminds me of my last post regarding the rubbish that Catholic priests must put up with on a regular basis. Well, this adds another point to the list: Catholic Priests MUST be brave and defend the teachings of Christ, even at the risk of losing popularity. Seriously, what's more important? Standing up for God, or being popular in the eyes of the crowd, who are already so fickle? It happened to Jesus you know...why, on Palm Sunday they greeted him with honour, and then on Good Friday they mocked and killed him like a common criminal. Haven't people learned that the popularity of the crowd is really an illusion? There is nothing steadfast in the nature of the mob. Well, the only thing steadfast about a mob is their unpredictable and unreliable behaviour.

I was so distraught that I wrote a letter to the Bishop of the Archdiocese. The Bishop's actions have saddened me, since he has shown compassion towards the woman, openly living in sin (and who is a BUDDHIST..!) rather than commending the priest who had the GUTS to uphold what is Sacred! Here is my closing statement from the letter:

As a Catholic in this society, doing the right thing for Christ means not being popular. Fr. Guarnizo has lost popularity through his actions, and you appear to be gaining popularity through your actions. What does this tell you?




Us Catholics must learn that standing up for what we believe is not popular, but we should take consolation is knowing that the popularity of the crowds is an illusion. I commend Fr. Guarnizo for his bravery for upholding what Catholics consider to be the most sacred: The Eucharist.
Unfortunately, people's 'feelings' are considered more sacred than the Eucharist....

Priests are people, too.

Who would have thought?

I am truly a fortunate Catholic. Being the sacristan of a bustling Cathedral has many advantages (and a few disadvantages). Some of the disadvantages are as follows: I have to deal with a lot of homeless people. It's not that I think they're scum, it's that I am not sure how to deal with them. I get scared because a lot of them are on drugs or drunk, or angry, or mentally ill. I'm never sure what I'm going to get, so I feel a little nervous. It is always best to treat them with compassion, regardless of their current state.
It's also a bit of a disadvantage to have everyone know who you are, yet you do not know who everyone else is. I am forgetting names all the time, and I see parishioners walking down the street, they wave and say hello, I do the same... but because many people seem to recognize me, I feel some pressure to be extra vigilant regarding my conduct in public; no swearing when I'm with my girlfriends, no poking my guy friends, no picking my nose (well, I suppose that's just common courtesy, whether one works at a Cathedral or not), etc.
It's also a little weird having people ask me for permission to do certain things. I don't mind organizing people and giving directions. It's bizarre, I don't mind having some authority, but I think it's weird that some people view me as an authoritative figure, you know? I am no better than anyone else. Who am I to tell people where to go and what to do? Being obedient to orders is much safer. But, if my job means I have more knowledge regarding certain things, I have a responsibilty to share that knowledge with others. I just hope I'm kind to people while I'm at it.
Oh yeah, priests. Knowing some good priests has been one of the best advantages to my job; not simply knowing them as men, but knowing what kind of work they do, and what kind of sacrifices they make on a daily basis.
It breaks my heart that in this culture, when people hear the word 'Catholic priest', they instantly think of the word 'pedophile'. Writing off Catholic priests as being creeps is extraordinarily unfair. There were a few who were messed up, and we cannot turn a blind eye to such offenses, but they are so few and far between that to assume every priest shares the same sickness is ignorant, and cruel. Priests are brave. Not perfect, but brave, and here's why:
1.) They have agreed to live a life of celibacy, which means they have sacificed the comforts of a domestic life and face possible lonliness so they can have the time, focus, and energy to serve their congregation.
2.) They have to deal with a lot of crazy people.... women who hit on them, people who are constantly critizing the priests' homilies, or choice of vestments, or Church flower arrangments, or colour of the paint in the Church, or choice of music etc. Some priests may even have to face rediculous lawsuits if someone gets offended enough. They are constantly displeasing SOMEBODY.
3.)They have to attend many, super boring meetings (at least, boring to me, in my opinion. Please don't bring me to a finance meeting. If I must go, supply me with a colouring book, otherwise I would die of bordom).
4.) They must get up in the wee hours of the morning to give someone who is dying the Anointing of the Sick.
5.) They must hire/recruit employees and volunteers who are moderately stable, who can get the job done. Same with Liturgical Ministers.
6.)They have to socialize and be present to their flock, even when they are exhausted/preoccupied and they don't feel like socializing. Listening to confessions can me emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically exhausting. Having to say several Masses a day can be exhausting.
7.) The eternal souls of every member of their congregation is the responsibility of the priest. No pressure or anything...
8.) They must be ultraselective in choosing friends, who to talk to, what movies to see, what car to drive, etc., for even the smallest thing can lead to gossip and scandal, which could destroy the priests' reputation.
9.) They must endure all of these hardships with humility, and patience, and they must keep their sufferings private so as to be a pillar or strength to their congregation.

There are probably more things to add to this list, but these are the most obvious ones for me. The sacrifice and bravery of these men inspire me a great deal. If only the secular crowds truly knew what they must endure...

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that every priest is perfect. They are human after all; they may deal with stress in unhealthy ways, they may lose patience and snap, and yell at somebody, some are not humble, but rather, ambitious, etc. Yes, they are regular people. This can be hard to remember, because I think many people raise the man on a high pedastel. This is a fuzzy line.....let me explain.
I think it is good that the office of Catholic Priest be held in high esteem, with respect given to the Priest based on the magnitude of the sacrifices he has made for his congregation, and for the importance and necessity of his office.
Respect and gratitude must always be given, but these can lead to disordered thinking if one is not careful. Again, this leads to the theory of 'demands' that people may make. here are some demands:
1.) Because of the holiness of the office of Priest, my parish priest MUST always be kind, inclusive, and understanding, and he MUST give me the time of day and listen to me when I want to be heard.
2.) The priest MUST like everyone he meets. He MUST always be in a good mood.
3.) The Priest MUST run his parish in truly fair way, to make sure that everyone is pleased. If he doesn't meet my demands, he is a bad priest, a bad example of a Catholic, and I will seek to ruin his reputation and I will never go to Church again!

..OK, some of those examples may seem a little over the top. But people DO think this way. I think the reason why many people are disgruntled with their priests is because the Priest is not meeting their personal demands on how a priest/parish SHOULD be. This is a common thinking error that people do all the time...not just with priests, but with each other. We want the world to turn they way we think it should, and if it doesn't, then we get angry and destructive.

Also, some people may be starstruck with priests, or some may only want to be friends with the priest because of ambitious thoughts: "hey, he's famous in these parts. If he likes me, then EVERYONE must like me because this priest obviously approves of me". Ugh. Thankfully, I think very few people are like this. I honestly can't make a judgement...I can't read the hearts of other people. Most people seem to be extremely respectful and kind. There are a few bad apples, as there are always some.

I am definitely ranting. Just know this....they work hard, they sacrifice much, they are not perfect, they are doing their best. If something in their conduct is indeed TRULY corrupt, then do something productive about it...be assertive, but not aggresive. Do it with charity. Don't add to their burdens because they are not who you believe they MUST be.

Lesbian vows revenge on priest

I recently read an article about a lesbian who is openly living with her female 'lover' being absolutely furious at a priest who refused to give her Communion at her mother's funeral. The woman has vowed that she wont stop fighting until the priest is removed from the parish.
But it gets worse. The archdiocese in which this priest serves is on the side of the lesbian, saying that the conduct of the priest was insensitive. 
What's even worse than that? Before the Mass, the woman approached the priest, introduced herself, and the woman she was with as her 'lover'. It's like she was rubbing it in the priest's face that she was an open and active lesbian, and then the woman get's pissed off when Communuion has been refused to her.
I want to cover my butt here, first. Just because the woman is a lesbian, doesn't mean that she has any less dignity as a human being than any other person. When I share my opinions I will do my best to uphold the truth of her dignity in my writings, but her actions are a little less than dignified, and that's what pisses me off about her...not her lesbianism...ok, people?
PEOPLE!! EDUCATE YOURSELVES BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY SORT OF JUDGEMENT. It is a grave sin in the Catholic Church to be an ACTIVE homosexual (but it is not a sin to BE a homosexual). And whether or not you AGREE with this teaching, doesn't change the teaching. It is what it is, and one would be a responsible adult to accept it, and move on. This isn't gay-oriented bigotry, it's about having sexual relations outside the context of the Sacrament of Marriage. If I had a boyfriend and he and myself were doing the nasty on a regular basis, and the priest knew about it, the priest has the RESPONSIBILITY to refuse me Communion.
The Priest should be commended for refusing that woman Communion. He was more concerned about the sin of sacrilege being committed than of offending someone who doesn't really respect the teachings of the Catholic Church anyway. He did the right thing. He protected what was sacred. And besides, it wouldn't have been good for the woman to believe she has the right to receive Communion. Maybe this mild 'exclusion' will force her to be a little more introspective about her lifestyle, if it is indeed important for her to be included at Communion during Mass.
There is a huge disease that's being spread through the laity in the Catholic Church, and that is, people believe they have THE RIGHT to receive Communion (as a good friend of mine pointed out to me yesterday). I think this is the result of a secular society that is pushing 'inclusiveness'. Who wants to be seen left behind in the pew, when other Catholics are going up to receive Communion? I mean, they are going to Church after all, right? Shouldn't they be ALLOWED to share in Communion? Haven't they given money to the Church? Or maybe their moms and dads acquired wonderful reputations as good Catholics and therefore the children feel entitled to be instantly included and loved in the community..?
Communion is a free gift of Christ to those who are free of mortal sin....His Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. We do not have the RIGHT to such a gift. Such arrogance! Such lack of reverence!
And that woman not stopping until that priest is removed is so rediculous, I don't even know where to start. She is just coming off as being another crazy lady. Her feelings were hurt, so she feels that she MUST PUNISH the one who hurt her feelings. A 'right' has been taken away from her, therefore, rather than reflecting upon her own glitches, she must get her satisfaction at destroying the life of a man who was doing was what perfectly legal and expected in the Catholic Church.  She can't face the fact that in the eyes of the Catholic Church, she was in error. Her problem is that she is making unreasonable demands on the Catholic Church; that the Catholic Church must loosen Her standards on what She considers 'sin', just so people can feel included during Communion. Because the lesbian's demands were not met, she feels the need to be selfish and destructive until her voice is heard. It is so cruel and unreasonable, I just can't fathom it. Just because a person demands something, doesn't mean the laws of the Universe must be changed in order for their demands to be met, at all times. Look lady, you are ignorant of the Church's teachings, you were presumptuous, you messed up, so please learn from it and move on. The Church will not change for you in order to make you feel better about your lifestyle. Do everyone a favour and educate yourself. Amen.

Women should NEVER join Navy SEALS

Gooooooooood morning, folks!

So, last night I watched "Act of Valor" with a good guy friend of mine. Basically, the film is about all of the dangerous and brave deeds that men do in the Navy SEALS... with some touching upon how these men view their sense of duty. I'm not a film critic, but I can say with great confidence that this movie was very well made; it had fabulous action, okay acting (considering most of the men who were in this flick were actual Navy SEALS and not actors), and the demonstration of bravery and courage that these men displayed (based on 'real acts of valor') blew my mind.
As far as I know, in the United States, women can join the Marine Corps and NOT the Navy SEALS. Also, women are forbidden from taking part in combat. What do I have to say about this..? GOOD. And here are my reasons for agreeing with this:
1.) Ladies, let's face it. We are not as physically strong as men. The strongest woman in the world would never be as strong, or stronger than the strongest man in the world. We're just not built that way. In extreme combat situations, having someone who is physically 'less strong' than the average Navy SEAL man can mean the difference between life and death for others. This is what I learned from the movie: these gentlemen had excellent communication, and worked as a team, with each man carrying out very specific duties. Every strong man acted as a powerful link, making one powerful chain. Having one weak link in the chain puts the lives of others in jeopardy. Can a 5'5" woman pull a 200lb injured man out of danger? Umm...nope. And I am losing patience all of this politically correct, inclusive mumbo jumbo that INSISTS that the Navy SEALS include women, so they can be seen as more of an inclusive force. If they do that, they are putting so many lives at risk, unnecessarily.
2.) Men are hardwired for such situations. Men have an interesting, natural born talent, and that is to separate a mission from their emotions. Because of this talent, they are able to put themselves (and their lives) at great risk for the protection of others. This makes a man a FABULOUS PROTECTOR. They are capable of very black and white thinking. Women are, by nature, less inclined to put themselves in physical danger. We are reproductively less disposable, and physically more vulnerable. As a woman, my physical safety often takes priority over some kind of task. If I don't feel safe, I don't carry out the task. Period. Well, I have carried out jobs which require me to be put in physical danger...I have climbed 30 foot ladders at work, and have walked on the actual ROOF of the Cathedral where I work. I am able to carry out these deeds because I am confident in my own personal abilities. For example...my balance and footing. But when the danger is unpredictable and certain, I would never take a chance.
Now, just because a woman's emotions are often integrated in her decision making does not mean that she is mentally weaker! Why must women believe that to be successful, they must think, and act, like men? Women have been given many talents but they spend less time developing their talents and more time looking at how much they want to fit in with the boys. Are they crazy?
3.) Women have different needs. When I watched the movie, I thought, "Sure, I can learn how to sky dive without being scared, I can learn how to use a grenade (I already know how to fire a gun...several different kinds of guns, actually), and I can learn how to scuba dive, but let's face it, I ain't doing any of that nonsense when I'm on my period". I cannot imagine being stuck out in a dirty, muddy jungle for days, and being shot at, and then thinking, "Oh drat, my cramps are killing me and I need to change my tampon". And no, I would never take a shot of hormones to get rid of my period for a few months because those needles can make people gain weight and feel sick. And I need to keep sanitized and clean for my own health. Guys can go forever without a shower, it seems.  Yuck.
4.) It's not good for women to believe they must fit in with boys to be equal. Women are learning how to hate themselves and each other.... and to be super competitive with each other. They are also learning that in order to be successful, they must hate men, yet,...act like men. The sooner women learn how to love being women, the better. Let the man do his duty, which is to lay down his life for you (which is the greatest act of love), and show veneration and appreciation for that love, and live that appreciation every day of your life. Make sacrifices for the man who loves you (since by sacrificing your will, you are also sacrificing your life for the well being of your man). Therefore, men and women will be making sacrifices for the protection and well being of each other. Stop this politically correct, competitive nonsense, learn your talents, and just get along...Yikes!